Where the Wild Things Are

8:44 AM
Yanus is asleep. From Saturday night until now, Yanus attended the wedding, the after party, and came back to the apt. Since I was not at the wedding or after party, I can't write about it. All I can say, is that Yanus needs to recover.

All I know is that there may have been a tricycle involved.

Yanus went to Brazil

11:00AM
Yanus walks into my room and mounted me. I moan. He is so drunk, and has to go to Gabe's Aufuf... He takes off his clothes, makes alka seltzer and is on the couch right now singing Jewish songs.

He is suspecting that some girl named Nina was rich because she had a nice place. Now he's just talking about me right now writing a blog.

He is going to take a shot of champions, pony up and go to Shul for Gabe.

The morning after...

8:41 AM

Yanus goes out...

2:40AM
After a steam, Yanus went to Brooklyn to pacify the groom who is marrying bitch tits... After exhausting his time in the BK, Yanus came back with RC Cola and Sarit Hadad to beg the A lister to come out.

After hours of pleading, one of the A listers came out, ponied up, and made the night what it was-epic.

Yanus, Sarit, Raphy and Isaac went into the already busted territory called Turtle Bay. The Laker game was on to provide the normal people with proper entertainment, while Sarit was making Raphy jealous by dancing with random guys...


The grimy got grimier, people from all across the country are coming to me to take care of business.

Yanus ate a sandwich with cheese and tomatoes, I pretended to be a fag, got into a "fight" with an older bitch and came home and passed out....

Tuxedo Shopping

3:03 PM
Yanus went on a crazy shopping spree for Gabe's wedding. He bought avocados, suspenders, socks, you know the usual thing needed for black tie affair.

Raphy farted so bad on the subway, that everyone had to leave the subway car!!! Even the homeless man on the subway.

Yanus had a tofu salad!!! Tofu. Salad. TOFU!!! SALAD!!!

Yanus is now on the phone right now with some rat organizing the festivities for the wedding...

Yanus is pooping!

10:25 AM
Yanus had eggs, toast, orange juice and coffee (in that order). He is finally pooping after a respite in the bodily function that he claimed hasn't taken place since he was in Las Vegas last weekend.
He is now on the toilet releasing...

Yanus in NY Day One

8:06 AM. Yanus is asleep on the couch. He manned up, and ventured out to the familiar waters of Turtle Bay. He spent the night sipping on vodka tonics while working a girl who worked as a buyer at Bloomingdales.

While I was by Yanus's side the whole night, I bounced early because the girl's friend who I was working lived in New Jersey and worked in Brooklyn! Besides the fact, she was busted.

Yanus claims that he will not pursue a former partner in crime, but I see it like an option in the stock market - it gets increasingly more valuable and attractive as an investment the closer to the option expiration date. In this case, there will be several bridesmaids as potential investments or trades that Yanus will explore over the next week.

Will be back with more...